Author Archives: acorwin

ORMs model databases, databases don’t model objects

I was discussing the merits of a couple different ways to abstract some data common to multiple models at work, and my coworkers asked some questions that forced me to articulate exactly why I have such strong opposition to things … Continue reading

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How To DDoS Your Own Website With Python

Have you ever thought, “huh, I wonder how easily I could DDoS myself despite all the hard work of library and framework authors?” In that case, have I got news for you! In the vein of Uses and Abuses Of … Continue reading

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Common Data Structures You Already Secretly Understand

Let’s talk about data structures that have close analogies to things you already do or know! This post will not be educational or entertaining, I promise. Enjoy! Linked Lists What is it? A linked list is a way of storing … Continue reading

Posted in computer science, pedantry | 1 Comment

Why Is No One Writing Language Runtimes?

A conversation with a coworker recently lead me to wonder why none of the innovation in writing software recently has been in terms of runtimes, or at least not pluggable ones.  Before I get into that in any detail, I’ll … Continue reading

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Programming Language Misfeatures With Little Comment

(An incomplete and unordered list) inheritance != === not in  from python .. and … (flip-flop operators) implicit type coercion (except arguably short -> long style) null case fallthroughs non-exhaustive case statements the switch/case construct in general lambda‘s restrictions in … Continue reading

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Probabilistic Morality, or: Ghosting On Spherical Cows

A Lighthearted Preamble I have, of late, you’ll notice, been trying to find a date. In said pursuit, I have also begun using Tinder in an effort to hopefully delude some young woman into believing I am worth spending time … Continue reading

Posted in math, morality | 2 Comments

On Speed Dating

I went Speed Dating this week. I utilized the services of this company. The event’s location was moved the morning of. I left my apartment half an hour before the event. I noticed I felt very nervous during the cab … Continue reading

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The Moral Calculus Of Suicide

From some sort of (poorly-understood) utilitarian standpoint, suicide (like anything) is immoral iff it increases the total suffering in the world. Presumably a person who is suicidal is experiencing significant suffering, and thus killing themselves is reducing total suffering for … Continue reading

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Encryption & Pronoun Games

You should use encryption for everything you do online. All websites should be https only, even if there’s nothing to secure. All email should be sent over encrypted protocols. All chat clients should support encryption. Etc, etc. The reason for … Continue reading

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A Poem (of sorts)

Once upon a midday sunny, while I pondered nothing funny, Over many a quaint and curious man page of forgotten lore—     While I angered, nearly snapping, suddenly there came a bad ping, As if LVS was napping, napping though … Continue reading

Posted in jokes, software | 1 Comment