My attempts, such as they were, to drink pumpkin spice this week were stymied by my local shop being out. Well, in all truth, I drank a reasonable amount of Shipyard Pumpkinhead beer, but that’s a different story.
In any case, today we have a guest post from my girlfriend, Sarah:
As a 24-year-old white girl I have often felt like I love pumpkin spice lattes, but upon Alexander embarking on his PSL challenge I realized that I had never actually had a Starbucks PSL. I drank a pumpkin chai latte last fall from an independent cafe, which was pretty good. That was all I needed to know to be sure Alexander was wrong in his judgment of the PSL.
You see, Alexander doesn’t like lattes. He doesn’t even like coffee, or milk for that matter. I drink both coffee and milk all the time, and I drink lattes when I feel I have earned a $4 beverage. Who is he to judge PSLs? Of course he doesn’t like them, I thought, that doesn’t actually say anything about them!
About an hour ago I felt I had earned a $4 beverage. I had been sent to a poorly run Office Depot to find ink cartridges, and had been unsuccessful. So I went to the Starbucks next door and ordered a “tall” PSL. First sip was so, so bad. I had to be imagining the badness. I had to. Second sip: somehow worse. I feel like I have been living a lie. PSLs taste like the favored coffee creamer they have at 7-11. They taste like the tiny dried marshmallows in powdered hot chocolate mix. They taste, ever so slightly, like chalk. I wanted to throw it away, but it was so expensive and I wanted caffeine. So I drank.
Half of it remains next to me now
I should probably throw it away at this point